Wednesday, October 30, 2013

You Fill Up My Senses

   Tonight as I was giving Crew his bedtime bottle, I was thinking about how amazing our Heavenly Father is to us. When He created us He could have very easily just given us the basic senses that we needed to survive. Instead he gave us 5 senses so that we could see, hear, smell, taste and feel every experience. Most of the time we don't even realize when we are using these senses that we are creating a memory that will last forever. A seemingly trivial or routine moment creates a memory that will come back to us many years later and take us back to that moment, that sensation.

   Anytime that I taste a spearmint candy I am immediately transported back to my childhood. I am sitting in my Grammy's little cluttered kitchen listening to her tell me stories about growing up in Hoboken, New Jersey. She always had a jar of spearmint leaves on her kitchen table. I would eat one and suck all of the sugar off of it while I visited with her. Whenever I taste spearmint I feel like I am back in that kitchen. My Grammy is still alive and she is telling me that I can grow up to be whatever I want to be. Spearmint is such a special memory to me.

  Just the other day I caught a whiff of lavender. Instantaneously I was in Crew's nursery rocking him at 3 days old. Daniel and I were so desperate to get him to sleep that we would give him a bath in lavendar shampoo to help him relax. The scent of lavender
takes me back to pure exhaustion and pure elation all at once. The sleepless nights and pains of recovery are raw in my mind, but the feeling of holding my newborn son in my arms is the greatest moment of my life. He was so new, so precious. I was so tired, but so fulfilled. Thank you, lavender for taking me back to this moment every time.

  My favorite perfume is Paris Hilton. The scent of Paris takes me back to the day that I met Daniel. The day that we met we went on our first date to church. As I was getting ready for church, I think I used half of my bottle of Paris. Every time I spritz on my Paris, I am 19 years old and back in my college dorm bathroom with those hideous orange sinks. I am so nervous and my stomach is filled with butterflies, but I am so excited to finally be going on a date with the "hot usher". I think it takes Daniel back too. He always insists on buying it for me even though I say that it is too expensive. My perfume takes me back to falling in love.

  Whenever I see the creek that used to run behind the house that I grew up in, I am ten years old again. I am swimming in that creek with my neighborhood friends. Our sneakers are filled with sharp rocks and minnows, but we don't even notice. We are too busy being pirates. We have no concept of time or worries. Our day begins with sunrise and ends wth the sound of our mothers calling us in because it is way past dark. We are catching crawfish and snapping turtles and keeping them for "pets". We have our whole lives ahead of us and the biggest dilemma we have is how to spend our summer. We are young and carefree and the summer is stretched out in front of us like a lazy cat.

  When I was four, my family took a one night trip to the Poconos. I can remember going on two family trips growing up and this was one of them. It wasn't exactly an ideal trip. The "cabin" that my parents rented wasn't quite what they expected. It also downpoured the entire time. It was supposed to be a quality family trip and it didn't quite turn out that way. I do not remember much from this trip, but there is one thing I will never forget. My Dad loves Placido Domingo. He had a brand new Placido Domingo tape we listened to the entire ride there and back home. There was one song in particular that my Dad listened to over and over again. It was a duet by Placido Domingo and John Denver of "You Fill Up My Senses" Whenever I hear this song, I am in that backseat of our car singing along with my Dad. The rain is covering the windshield in sheets and the wipers are going full throttle. I can hear the rain hammering down on the roof, but our family is all together again. Our family is safe and warm in our little car and Placido and John are creating a memory so vivid that when I hear the first few notes of this song it takes my breath away.

  Some days when I smell the peppermints my Dad always eats or the sound of his change jingling in his pocket or the smell of my Mom's perfume, I can't help but wonder," will these smells and sounds bring me comfort one day when they are no longer here?"  

  We are filling up our senses every day with sights, sounds, smells, and feelings that are creating memories that will take us back to those moments. Moments of happines, sadness, anxiety, hope, newness, joy, fear, anger, warmth, emptiness, elation, peace, grief, and love. What would life be like without the ability to capture these moments with our senses?

"You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,
Like the mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert,
Like a sleepy blue ocean.
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms.
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again.

Let me give my life to you,
Come let me love you, come love me again.

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,
Like the mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert,
Like a sleepy blue ocean.
You fill up my senses, come fill me again."

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