Beach Cruiser Bonanza

Two years ago on a beautiful, sunny, and seemingly routine day in Wilmington, my husband Daniel took me out to eat for my lunch break. Daniel noticed that I had a few minutes left before my lunch break was over and asked if I wanted to check out the bicycle shop in the strip mall next to my work.  I had previously mentioned to Daniel that I would love a hot pink beach cruiser for my birthday! (he earned major browning points for remembering).


We started looking at the bicycles and with the first price tag we noticed that they were definitely out of our price range. We were hoping to sneak out unnoticed by the salesman. We walked out the front door and just when we thought we were home free the salesman came up behind us. He asked if we were looking for anything in particular and Daniel briefly mentioned that I wanted a pink beach cruiser for my birthday. Of course there was a line of beach cruisers outside of the shop which we just happend to be standing by when he found us. There in the line of overpriced beach cruisers was the most beautiful bike I had ever seen! The perfect shade of hot pink with shiny chrome and it even had a basket! I could visualize myself whipping along the beach with my hair tousled in the wind with my little chihuahua Jeter sitting perfectly in the basket(hey, a girl can dream!)  

It was beach cruiser love at first sight! Just as the salesman pointed it out to us the shiny chrome actually winked at me just as the sun hit it! But my beach cruiser love quickly dimished when I happend to catch a peek at the $2,000 price tag! Before I even had a chance to say a word, the salesman asked me if I wanted to ride it. I immediately said, "no thank you."  Remember, I was in my office work clothes and of course sporting my ever present high heels and to top it off I hadn't ridden a bike in at least 15 years! Let us ALSO not forget my bad luck which always seems to follow me. Even my brief moment of childhood nostalgia wasn't enough to override my fear of humiliation. But the salesman just would not let it go! We went back and forth at least 4 times before I finally said, "fine,I will ride it!"  Inwardly I was chuckling because I knew it wouldn't end well and I also knew there was a very beneficial lesson to be learned for this salesman. All in all, I still hoped for the best.

As I climbed on the seat, I immediately noticed that it just didn't feel right. I am barely 5 foot tall!  I could hardly reach the peddles and the handlebars were spaced so far apart I looked like I was driving a Harley! My high heels and dress clothes did not help matters any. I immediately lost control and veered off of the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic. You could slide a sheet of paper between my bike and the car coming towards me as I whipped back on to the sidewalk just milliseconds before we collided!  Right now you are probably thinking to yourself, wow, that was a close call, but thank goodness you made it to the sidewalk.  But this, my friend,  was only the start of the fiasco. As you remember, I whipped back on to the sidewalk. Just as I reached the sidewalk, two girls just happened to be walking down the sidewalk towards me. All I can remember about these two girls is the look on their faces when they saw me barreling towards them: SHEER PANIC! I ended up driving right between them as they both dove out of the way just in time. Wooh! Another crisis averted! But again, a shortlived victory when I remembered that my high heels were hindering me from peddling backwards to hit the brakes. I decided to head towards Daniel and the salesman in hopes that they could help me stop.  I knew I needed to brace myself because this.was. not. going .to.end. well. The beautiful line of beach cruisers I mentioned earlier? Well, they broke my fall! I crashed into them going full speed and they all fell down like dominos! The only thought racing through my mind during the collision was,"MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

   As soon as I hit the ground I was so embarassed so I jumped up as fast as I could like a little kid and grabbed Daniel's arm for comfort. Then I surveyed the damage. I suffered minor cuts and scratches to both knees, elbows, and hands and a very bruised ego. The bike? Well, it suffered MUCH worse! I thought for sure we would be leaving the store with a $15,000 bill(being that there were so many bikes involved in the crash).  But all the salesman could muster was,"Well, I did  tell her to ride the bike."

I didn't say a word. Daniel didn't say a word. We walked solemly back to the truck. Once inside the truck, we both just sat there speechless for what seemed like eternity. Finally, Daniel broke the silence with "YOU FORGOT HOW TO RIDE A BIKE!"

The following month Daniel surprised me with a Wal-mart youth sized blue beach cruiser which he lovingly spray painted hot pink. The license plate reads "Lil' Jan".